dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
