There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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