Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
