how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
