just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
