Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
