If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I need moral support for this bender
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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