Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize