4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
