He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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