Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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