i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
