I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
