His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What a dumb baby whore.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
