I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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