It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
