So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize