I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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