halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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