That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
