playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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