Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
