Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she smelled like a LAN party
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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