so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
