Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
