i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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