Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
