with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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