fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
