i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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