I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
