first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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