You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
