what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
