Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it hurts more in the daytime
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
