i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
