brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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