I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
