im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
