I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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