that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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