I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
