I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
