now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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