You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
