I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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