great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
