TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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