Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
