The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i think my cat just said my name.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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