im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
