do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
