I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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